Author: Dreadfully Kelly

Kent based award nominated/published blogger & content creator. Lover of girl power, affordable beauty and indie brands. A little bit obsessed with heavy blush and the power of the right red lipstick.

THE REALITY OF STRUGGLING WITH MENTAL HEALTH

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

Almost a year ago, I shared a post about embracing self-kindness and setting realistic goals for the year ahead. I talked about slowing down, nurturing ourselves, and practicing self-compassion. In the moment, I truly believed that would be my path for 2024. But the truth is, I haven’t published a single blog post since then.

Why? Because I’ve been struggling. Depression, burnout… they crept up on me in ways I didn’t expect. I had days where just getting out of bed felt like an impossible task. The passion I once had for writing, self-care, and all the little joys in life seemed to fade. And you know what? That’s okay.

Today is World Mental Health Day, and I feel compelled to share that it’s perfectly okay not to be okay. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve struggled. In fact, I think it’s time we all start being a little more honest about how tough things can get.

You are not alone…

Mental health is such an invisible, often misunderstood battle. We put on brave faces, keep pushing through, and sometimes, we crash. If you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted, please know you are not alone. There are so many of us out there who understand exactly what you’re going through. You matter, and your mental health matters too.

It’s easy to talk about self-compassion when you’re feeling good, but it’s even more important to practice it when you’re at your lowest. Over the past year, I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to take a step back, to feel lost, to struggle. And that doesn’t make me a failure – it makes me human.

I have also had to allow others to pick up the slack and have spent the majority of the last few months feeling like a failure. A failure as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend…well the list just goes on really doesn’t it?

Moving forward…

I’m still navigating this journey, and I don’t have all the answers. But what I do know is that being kind to myself has been more important than ever. Some days, just getting through the day is enough of an achievement. And slowly but surely, I’m learning that progress isn’t always linear, and that’s okay too.

So if you’re reading this, take a moment to breathe. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough.

Let’s continue this conversation, not just on World Mental Health Day, but every day. Let’s make sure no one ever feels like they’re in this alone.

Boo x

NEW YEAR, NEW ME…OR WHATEVER.

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

I honestly don’t know how many times I have entered the New Year with that fresh start mentality. It is exhausting and honestly, I just don’t think I can handle it right now.

While many of us focus on goals like eating healthier, exercising more, or learning a new skill, there is one resolution that often gets overlooked – being kind to ourselves. In a world that constantly demands more from us, it’s important to take a step back and prioritise self-care and self-compassion.

Embracing self-kindness…

In our fast-paced lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, constantly striving for perfection and comparing ourselves to others. We often forget that we are only human, with our own strengths and weaknesses. This year, let’s make a conscious effort to be kind to ourselves, embracing our flaws and celebrating our accomplishments, no matter how small.

I know that I could really do with putting less pressure on myself. I work full time, have three beautiful children and am studying part time for a degree, but despite all of that I’m always looking for more.

So my first resolution is going to be to calm the fuck down and just take a breather.

Nurturing your mind, body and soul…

Being kind to yourself goes beyond just positive self-talk. It’s about nurturing your mind, body, and soul. Take the time to indulge in activities that bring you joy and help you unwind. Whether it’s reading a good book, taking a long bath, or going for a walk in nature, prioritize self-care and make it a non-negotiable part of your routine.

Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for our overall well-being. Make self-care a priority in your life. Set aside time each day to do something that brings you joy and helps you recharge. Whether it’s practicing mindfulness, journaling, or engaging in a hobby, find what works for you and make it a regular part of your routine.

I used to love taking over the bathroom for a couple of hours at the weekend. Running a steaming hot bath and just spending some time on my skin and haircare. It made me happy and I always felt more myself after. I need to bring that back in 2024.

Practicing self-compassion…

We often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards and beat ourselves up for not meeting them. This year, let’s replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a loved one. Acknowledge your mistakes and shortcomings, but also recognize your strengths and the progress you’ve made.

I have been through a tremendous amount in the last fifteen years and I honestly think I need to spend some time just acknowledging that trauma and healing. It’s something I have never down and it’s clearly long overdue.’

Setting realistic goals…

While setting goals is important, it’s equally important to set realistic ones. Be mindful of your limitations and don’t overburden yourself with unrealistic expectations. Break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps, and celebrate each milestone along the way. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small.

One last thing…

As we embark on a new year, I encourage you to make a resolution to be kind to yourself. In a world that often emphasizes productivity and perfection, it’s easy to neglect our own well-being. Remember, you are worthy of love, care, and kindness. Embrace your uniqueness, celebrate your accomplishments, and be gentle with yourself during challenging times. Here’s to a year filled with self-compassion and personal growth.

Boo x

If you enjoyed this blog post, be sure to check out some of my other ramblings:

‘DELICATE CONDITION’ BY DANIELLE VALENTINE REVIEW

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Book Club

This post contains details of a book that I was gifted by NetGalley. All views are my own.

Valentine’s writing style is hauntingly captivating, painting vivid and chilling images that will leave you breathless. To be honest, it is horrific in the most beautiful way.

I wanted this baby so badly.
But she may be the death of me…

Anna Alcott is desperate to have a family. But as she tries to balance her increasingly public life as an indie actress with a gruelling IVF regime, she starts to suspect that someone is going to great lengths to make sure that never happens. Crucial medicines are lost. Appointments are moved without her knowledge. She’s sure she’s being followed. And when she finally does get pregnant, someone breaks into her house and steals the ultrasound photograph of her baby. But despite everything she’s gone through, not even her husband is willing to believe that someone is playing twisted games with her.

Then her doctors tell her she’s lost the baby. Despite her grief, Anna ignores the grave-faced men lecturing her – because she can still feel the baby moving, can see the toll it’s taking on her weakened body. Isolated in a remote snowbound town, Anna is sure that whoever has been following her is closing in on her and her unborn child. And as her symptoms become more terrifying, she can’t help but wonder what exactly is growing inside her… and why no-one will listen when she says that something is horribly wrong.

‘Delicate Condition’ by Danielle Valentine

This book delves deep into the complexities of gender and power, exploring the struggles and triumphs of women in a way that is both thought-provoking and empowering with a focus on dark feminist themes.

Valentine masterfully weaves together elements of horror and psychological suspense, creating a modern-day homage to the classic novel ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ by Ira Levin, that will keep you on the edge of your seat.

While ‘Delicate Condition’ is undeniably a gripping read, I couldn’t help but crave more of Valentine’s twisted storytelling. The book left me hungry for further exploration into the dark and mysterious world she created.

Overall, ‘Delicate Condition’ is a must-read for fans of horror, feminist literature, and psychological thrillers. With its horrific beauty and thought-provoking themes, it is a book that will stay with you long after you turn the last page.

‘I DID IT FOR YOU’ BY JAYNE COWIE REVIEW

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Book Club

This post contains details of a book that I was gifted by NetGalley. All views are my own.

If you could test your son for a gene that predicts violence, would you do it?

Antonia and Bea are sisters, and doting mothers to their sons. But that is where their similarities end.

Antonia had her son tested to make sure he didn’t possess the “violent” M gene.

Bea refuses to let her son take the test. His life should not be determined by a positive or negative result.

These women will go to any length to protect their sons.

But one of them is hiding a monster.

And there will be fatal consequences for everybody….

‘I Did it For You’ by Jayne Cowie
‘I Did it For You’ by Jayne Cowie

To start, I loved the realistic depiction of a dystopian now, because I can’t even say that this story was set in the future!

Whilst at first glance, the M Gene and all it entails may seem far fetched but the more you immerse yourself in to the story you realise just how easy it would be to find ourselves in a society just like the one in ‘I Did it For You’.

I loved the whole concept and only wish I could read and discover other stories from within the M Gene universe. I found the idea so intriguing and to see this horrific situation through the eyes of four very different people was incredibly interesting.

The book is filled with clever plot twists that grab your attention and keeps you hooked throughout the entire story. These developments keep you guessing until the very end.

The multiple point of view format added an extra layer of excitement and suspense which I totally vibe with whilst the emotional depth of the characters and their struggles made this book a truly heart-wrenching read at times. The only downside to the entire reading experience was that I didn’t want the story to end. I became so invested in the characters and their journey that I found myself wanting more.

‘I Did it For You’ is a brilliant and captivating book that I highly recommend. Jayne Cowie has a way of writing an exceptional story that will stay with you long after you’ve finished reading it.

‘WHO SHE WAS’ BY TONY PARSONS REVIEW

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Book Club

This post contains details of a book that I was gifted by NetGalley. All views are my own.

Tony Parsons is undoubtedly a master storyteller with his engaging storylines, authentic characters, emotional depth, and thought-provoking social commentary.

Although he has certainly established himself as a prominent figure in the literary world, however, I feel that his latest offering missed the mark by such a way that it feels almost unrecognisable as one of his works.

His novels are often filled with unexpected twists and turns, making it impossible to tear yourself away from turning the page but ‘Who She Was’ just felt like a rushed mess of half finished ideas.

A bonfire burns on a Cornish beach in the middle of the night.

Nearby, a young woman waits for morning, and for the estate agent to arrive with the keys to her new life in the peaceful fishing village.

She carries with her no trace of her previous life or the past she has left behind.

Quickly she becomes an object of fascination among the locals; one in particular finds that he is falling in love with her.

But can anyone really have a new life?
What happened to this woman’s old life?
And what price did she pay to escape it?

When secrets long buried explode into the light, they will change the lives of everyone around her.

‘Who She Was’ by Tony Parsons

One of the most crucial aspects of any novel is the development of its characters. Sadly, ‘Who She Was’ fails to deliver in this regard. Tom, the central character, never truly comes to life on the pages. His motivations, desires, and struggles remain shallow and underdeveloped, leaving readers disconnected from his journey. ‘Who She Was’ also suffers from inconsistent pacing throughout its pages. The story drags in some sections, making it difficult to maintain interest, while rushing through others, leaving readers feeling disoriented. This inconsistency disrupts the flow of the narrative and prevents readers from fully immersing themselves in the story. The emotional depth of the story remains shallow, leaving readers detached from the characters and their experiences.

‘Who She Was’ by Tony Parsons falls short of being anything other than alright. The novel’s lackluster character development, predictability, inconsistent pacing, and absence of emotional depth make it a disappointing read. While every reader’s taste varies, this particular work failed to leave a lasting positive impression on me.

BALANCE ACTIVE FORMULA SKINCARE REVIEW

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Beauty

Post contains gifted products. All views are my own.

Did you know that Balance Active Formula is available to buy in Home Bargains?!

The budget skincare brand offers a variety of products that are ingredients-led, focusing on high levels of actives that provide a targeted solution to different skin types!

It’s never been easier to educate yourself and gain an understanding into what you’re really smothering your face with, plus the formulations are backed up by science and that’s always a relief!

To begin with I started with the AHA + BHA Retexturising 10% + BHA 2% Serum (£4.99) which is formulated with Glycolic Acid and Salicylic Acid to deeply exfoliate, brighten and improve skin texture!

It’s the perfect way to strip things back and start afresh!

The Gold + Marine Collagen Hydrogel Under Eye Masks (£3.99) and Gold + Marine CollagenHydrogel Under Lip Mask (£3.99) duo felt like a real treat and stayed firmly in place which was a revelation all on its own as I’ve found in the past that lip masks in particular are slippery little sods!

Colloidal Gold is a hero ingredient which is known for its healing properties and leaves you with a radiant glow whilst Marine Collagen helps to smooth and protect skin structure, so with that in mind I decided to follow the eye and lip masks with the matching Gold + Marine Collagen Rejuvenating Serum (£4.99), going for gold as it were.

Other benefits include…

Firmer looking skin.

A glowing, smoother looking complexion.

Reduced appearance of lines and wrinkles!

However, with a serum for every skincare concern you can’t go wrong. I was also sent the Vitamin C Brightening Serum (£4.99) which is lightweight and non-greasy with a radiant finish. It contains two forms of stabilised Vitamin C that will help to reduce the appearance of age spots and leave you with a more even-looking skin tone!

On the other hand, you could always go with the Niacinamide Blemish Recovery Serum (£4.99). This water-based formulation with can be used every day to help reduce blemishes, improve skin texture and encourage a healthy complexion. I found Niacinamide an absolute lifesaver through lockdown and constant mask wearing so it’s absolutely worth it’s weight in gold to me!

And just like that, skincare on a budget has never been so easy.

Get yourselves to Home Bargains immediately!

‘THE BRIDE’ BY JOHN NICHOLL REVIEW

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Book Club

This post contains details of a book that I was gifted by NetGalley. All views are my own.

‘The Bride’ by John Nicholl is a gripping psychological thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat until the very end. This novel is a perfect blend of suspense and mystery that will leave you wanting more.

The story follows Daisy as she writes about her past so that her unborn child might one day understand how she came to be in the position she has found herself in. Her life has taken take a dark turn, one she claims to have never expected but it spins becomes clear that nothing is what it seems.

She’s on trial for murder… Now it’s her turn to tell her story…

The truth is that I loved James with my whole heart. We were soulmates: meant to be together forever. On the morning of our wedding, I had just found out I was carrying his child.

But it’s time to tell my side of the story. It’s time everyone knew what happened on that wedding day, on our honeymoon, and on that fateful last drive together. It’s time everyone found out about the secrets and about the threat that loomed over our marriage. It’s time everyone found out who really killed James.

And I need everyone to believe me. To believe I’m not a killer. Because if they don’t, then my baby won’t just have no father… she’ll have no mother.

The Bride by John Nicholl

John Nicholl does an excellent job of building tension throughout the novel. The pacing is perfect, and the plot twists are unexpected and satisfying. Daisy felt well developed as a character and although I would say she was anything but likeable, I felt myself drawn in and very invested in her fates.

One of the most impressive aspects of ‘The Bride’ is how Nicholl tackles difficult subject matter such as death, violence and mental illness. He does so in a sensitive and thoughtful way that adds depth to the story without feeling exploitative.

Overall, ‘The Bride’ is a must-read for fans of psychological thrillers. John Nicholl has crafted a masterful tale that will leave readers breathless. If you’re looking for a book that will keep you up all night, this is the one for you.

A LOVE LETTER TO MY HAIR STYLIST

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Beauty

Want to hear all about my pet hate? It’s an unusual one (in that live never heard anyone else talk about it) It’s the people that say ‘it’s just hair’. I know that sounds ridiculous but let me explain…

It’s not just hair for me. For so many people it is a huge part of their identity. A way to express yourself creatively. Something to hide behind or make you stand out from the crowd. Maybe going to the salon is your only time to relax away from work commitments and home life. Whatever the reason your hair is important to you it is valid and it’s ok to feel that way.

I’m sure we have all been through our fair share of hair horror stories. It took me YEARS to find someone who just ‘got’ me. I first met Sian (super stylist extraordinaire) in 2014 when I was pregnant with my son and in desperate need of a pick me up. I’d already lived in the area for three years and had COUNTLESS rubbish haircuts from expensive but very wonky fringes to mullet-like layers. It was not a good time for me and I was prepared for yet another disaster.

Then magic happened and it transformed my life and the way I saw myself.

I know it sounds terribly dramatic but that’s honestly how I felt. Lockdown has taught me many things, to be grateful for the life we have, to never take famly and friends for granted being the most important, but amongst all of that something I will take away with me is to never underestimate the power of a good stylist and the right haircut.

It takes a special kind of person to make others feel good about themselves countless times on a daily basis. It may not be considered a traditional caring profession but through the years Sian has made me laugh, listened to my troubles and asked for updates on my life. She’s seen me through special occasions, restyles and trims. Each and every time allowing me to walk out the door feeling like the absolute best version of myself.

I don’t know what kind of sorcery she possesses (actually I do. It’s years and thousands spent on training and constantly expanding her knowledge to keep up with every changing fashion and trends) but I feel so grateful to be able to benefit from it.

As an aside, I’d like to wish Sian Hair and Beauty a very happy 10 years in business! I’m thoroughly looking forward to the next 10!

‘AFTER YOU WERE GONE’ BY VIKKI WAKEFIELD – BOOK REVIEW

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Book Club

This post contains details of a book that I was gifted by NetGalley. All views are my own.

I love a story told over multiple perspectives but Vikki Wakefield goes one better and weaves a tale that spans decades, with three timelines in particular. Before, after and now is where you will find all you need to unravel and piece together a mystery that few will understand until it’s too late.

In a busy street market, Abbie lets go of six-year-old Sarah’s hand. She isn’t a bad mother, just exhausted. When she turns around, her daughter isn’t there.

Six years later, Abbie is in love and getting married. But her fragile peace is constantly threatened: not knowing what happened to Sarah is like living with a curse.

Then she receives a phone call from an unknown number.

A man claims to know what happened to Sarah, but if Abbie tells anyone or fails to follow his instructions, she’ll never find out.
How far will Abbie go to know the truth?

After You Were Gone by Vikki Wakefield

Each character was incredibly well written, flaws and all and it was easy to find yourself identifying with or disliking them all, especially Abbie’s mother who was toxic, frustrating and overwhelmingly sad in equal measures.

Abbie is forced to estrange herself from everyone she cares about and this is painful to witness. Whilst I found the story entertaining it was at times a little unbelievable, but then again, isn’t life just kind of like that?

If I could give a future reader any advice it would be to pay attention. Pay attention to anything and everything because you never know what might become relevant later on. It really was VERY clever.

After You Were Gone’ was an intense coming-of-age, cautionary tale that felt tough to read at times. Wakefield’s writing style really enthrals the reader, creating a dark and almost suffocating atmosphere.

Ultimately I found the story a thoroughly enjoyable, fast-paced and well written read that I would highly recommend if you’re after something with a mystery that is going to keep you guessing right until the end.

Although some will fine it an uncomfortable read, I urge you to persevere as the twist is genuinely something I didn’t see coming.

‘YOURS TRULY’ BY ABBY JIMENEZ – BOOK REVIEW

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Book Club

This post contains details of a book that I was gifted by NetGalley. All views are my own.

Having spent the last four months fully submerged in all things thriller, the grittier the better, ‘Yours Truly’ was a much needed breath of fresh air and I am so glad that I was able to dip my toe back into the world of romance and comedy. It made me realise how important it is for me to diversify my reading. Both professionally and for my mental health, because this book was like a warm hug on a bad day. A hot water bottle, fluffy blanket and bar of chocolate all in one.

Dr Briana Ortiz’s life is seriously flatlining. Her divorce is just about finalised, her brother’s running out of time to find a kidney donor, and that promotion she wants . . . ? Oh, that’s probably going to the new man-doctor who’s already registering eighty-friggin’-seven on Briana’s ‘pain in my ass’ scale. 

But just when all systems are set to hate, Dr Jacob Maddox completely flips the game . . . by sending Briana a letter. It’s a really good letter. Like the kind that proves that Jacob isn’t actually Satan. Worse, he might be this fantastically funny and subversively likeable guy who’s terrible at first impressions. Because suddenly he and Bri are exchanging letters, sharing lunch dates in her ‘sob closet’ and discussing the merits of freakishly tiny horses. 

When Jacob turns out to be the perfect donor for her brother, Bri starts to realise that this quietly sexy new doctor might just be her perfect match, too.

Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez

I’m not going to lie to you, I both love and loathe a fake relationship trope. It’s been done to death but I also adore just how clumsy and dramatic it all is. That being said, Abby Jimenez took something that could have potentially been a completely overdone fiasco and made it feel brand new.

Abby Jimenez is an expert in character development and creating well-rounded, realistic personalities that just jump from the page and come to life in front of your eyes. Brianna Ortiz was someone I absolutely would want to be friends with. She was strong and sassy but ultimately vulnerable and full of raw magnetism. I just adored her! Then there was Jacob…

I have NEVER loved a romantic interest as much as Jacob. He was equal parts sweet, stubborn and hilarious. He felt entirely real, well fleshed out and identifiable. If anything, Jacob was much more me than Brianna, a fact which I was totally ok with, and that has never happened before. Getting to know him as a character allowed me to view the parts of myself that I see as flaws in a totally different light and for that I am so thankful.

Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a well-written romance or is in need of a good laugh or cry! You’ll find it all there in between the pages of this absolute gem that I am almost certain to return to again and again. I can’t wait to read more from Abby!