Motherhood – Dreadfully Kelly

NEW YEAR, NEW ME…OR WHATEVER.

31st Dec 202310th Oct 2024 by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

I honestly don’t know how many times I have entered the New Year with that fresh start mentality. It is exhausting and honestly, I just don’t think I can handle it right now.

While many of us focus on goals like eating healthier, exercising more, or learning a new skill, there is one resolution that often gets overlooked – being kind to ourselves. In a world that constantly demands more from us, it’s important to take a step back and prioritise self-care and self-compassion.

Embracing self-kindness…

In our fast-paced lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, constantly striving for perfection and comparing ourselves to others. We often forget that we are only human, with our own strengths and weaknesses. This year, let’s make a conscious effort to be kind to ourselves, embracing our flaws and celebrating our accomplishments, no matter how small.

I know that I could really do with putting less pressure on myself. I work full time, have three beautiful children and am studying part time for a degree, but despite all of that I’m always looking for more.

So my first resolution is going to be to calm the fuck down and just take a breather.

Nurturing your mind, body and soul…

Being kind to yourself goes beyond just positive self-talk. It’s about nurturing your mind, body, and soul. Take the time to indulge in activities that bring you joy and help you unwind. Whether it’s reading a good book, taking a long bath, or going for a walk in nature, prioritize self-care and make it a non-negotiable part of your routine.

Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for our overall well-being. Make self-care a priority in your life. Set aside time each day to do something that brings you joy and helps you recharge. Whether it’s practicing mindfulness, journaling, or engaging in a hobby, find what works for you and make it a regular part of your routine.

I used to love taking over the bathroom for a couple of hours at the weekend. Running a steaming hot bath and just spending some time on my skin and haircare. It made me happy and I always felt more myself after. I need to bring that back in 2024.

Practicing self-compassion…

We often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards and beat ourselves up for not meeting them. This year, let’s replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a loved one. Acknowledge your mistakes and shortcomings, but also recognize your strengths and the progress you’ve made.

I have been through a tremendous amount in the last fifteen years and I honestly think I need to spend some time just acknowledging that trauma and healing. It’s something I have never down and it’s clearly long overdue.’

Setting realistic goals…

While setting goals is important, it’s equally important to set realistic ones. Be mindful of your limitations and don’t overburden yourself with unrealistic expectations. Break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps, and celebrate each milestone along the way. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small.

One last thing…

As we embark on a new year, I encourage you to make a resolution to be kind to yourself. In a world that often emphasizes productivity and perfection, it’s easy to neglect our own well-being. Remember, you are worthy of love, care, and kindness. Embrace your uniqueness, celebrate your accomplishments, and be gentle with yourself during challenging times. Here’s to a year filled with self-compassion and personal growth.

Boo x

If you enjoyed this blog post, be sure to check out some of my other ramblings:

‘DELICATE CONDITION’ BY DANIELLE VALENTINE REVIEW

20th Aug 20233rd Jul 2024 by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Book Club

This post contains details of a book that I was gifted by NetGalley. All views are my own.

Valentine’s writing style is hauntingly captivating, painting vivid and chilling images that will leave you breathless. To be honest, it is horrific in the most beautiful way.

I wanted this baby so badly.
But she may be the death of me…

Anna Alcott is desperate to have a family. But as she tries to balance her increasingly public life as an indie actress with a gruelling IVF regime, she starts to suspect that someone is going to great lengths to make sure that never happens. Crucial medicines are lost. Appointments are moved without her knowledge. She’s sure she’s being followed. And when she finally does get pregnant, someone breaks into her house and steals the ultrasound photograph of her baby. But despite everything she’s gone through, not even her husband is willing to believe that someone is playing twisted games with her.

Then her doctors tell her she’s lost the baby. Despite her grief, Anna ignores the grave-faced men lecturing her – because she can still feel the baby moving, can see the toll it’s taking on her weakened body. Isolated in a remote snowbound town, Anna is sure that whoever has been following her is closing in on her and her unborn child. And as her symptoms become more terrifying, she can’t help but wonder what exactly is growing inside her… and why no-one will listen when she says that something is horribly wrong.

‘Delicate Condition’ by Danielle Valentine

This book delves deep into the complexities of gender and power, exploring the struggles and triumphs of women in a way that is both thought-provoking and empowering with a focus on dark feminist themes.

Valentine masterfully weaves together elements of horror and psychological suspense, creating a modern-day homage to the classic novel ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ by Ira Levin, that will keep you on the edge of your seat.

While ‘Delicate Condition’ is undeniably a gripping read, I couldn’t help but crave more of Valentine’s twisted storytelling. The book left me hungry for further exploration into the dark and mysterious world she created.

Overall, ‘Delicate Condition’ is a must-read for fans of horror, feminist literature, and psychological thrillers. With its horrific beauty and thought-provoking themes, it is a book that will stay with you long after you turn the last page.

‘AFTER YOU WERE GONE’ BY VIKKI WAKEFIELD – BOOK REVIEW

22nd May 202322nd May 2023 by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Book Club

This post contains details of a book that I was gifted by NetGalley. All views are my own.

I love a story told over multiple perspectives but Vikki Wakefield goes one better and weaves a tale that spans decades, with three timelines in particular. Before, after and now is where you will find all you need to unravel and piece together a mystery that few will understand until it’s too late.

In a busy street market, Abbie lets go of six-year-old Sarah’s hand. She isn’t a bad mother, just exhausted. When she turns around, her daughter isn’t there.

Six years later, Abbie is in love and getting married. But her fragile peace is constantly threatened: not knowing what happened to Sarah is like living with a curse.

Then she receives a phone call from an unknown number.

A man claims to know what happened to Sarah, but if Abbie tells anyone or fails to follow his instructions, she’ll never find out.
How far will Abbie go to know the truth?
After You Were Gone by Vikki Wakefield

Each character was incredibly well written, flaws and all and it was easy to find yourself identifying with or disliking them all, especially Abbie’s mother who was toxic, frustrating and overwhelmingly sad in equal measures.

Abbie is forced to estrange herself from everyone she cares about and this is painful to witness. Whilst I found the story entertaining it was at times a little unbelievable, but then again, isn’t life just kind of like that?

If I could give a future reader any advice it would be to pay attention. Pay attention to anything and everything because you never know what might become relevant later on. It really was VERY clever.

After You Were Gone’ was an intense coming-of-age, cautionary tale that felt tough to read at times. Wakefield’s writing style really enthrals the reader, creating a dark and almost suffocating atmosphere.

Ultimately I found the story a thoroughly enjoyable, fast-paced and well written read that I would highly recommend if you’re after something with a mystery that is going to keep you guessing right until the end.

Although some will fine it an uncomfortable read, I urge you to persevere as the twist is genuinely something I didn’t see coming.

RESOLUTIONS AND REGRETS (BLOGMAS – DAY THIRTY-ONE)

31st Dec 20218th Jun 2022 by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

…and just like that it’s New Years Eve again. 2021 has been a strange one. Little snippets of a reality we used to know interspersed with a ‘new normal’.

I feel like I’ve had a permanent headache trying to wrap my brain around what I should or shouldn’t be doing. I’m sure many of you feel the same.

Anyway, I digress. This year has been filled with isolation, binged box sets and far too many biscuits. I don’t want to fall into the old ‘New Year, New Me’ trap but in 2022 I’m making some changes!

Exercise…

I have NEVER been a fan of exercise. However, I will begrudgingly admit that when I do throw myself into some semblance of a routine I do feel better for it. Not just physically but mentally too.

I don’t necessarily feel the need to lose weight, I’m undoubtedly at the heaviest I have ever been (pregnancy excluded) but actually feel quite confident in myself. I would like to be healthier though. Since having covid late last year I would definitely say I’ve been more sluggish, I really hope this is something I can overcome with a better diet and exercise.

I guess it would also be nice to look and feel my best on my wedding day!

Do well at uni…

I’m about to embark on my second term of uni and it’s going well so far! I’m really enjoying it and honestly, I think it was something I desperately needed.

Whilst the course might have taken me by surprise I feel comfortable in my growth and really hope that I can keep it up.

I so want 2022 to be the year that I absolutely SMASH my first two modules. I think that would be a highlight for me. With a creative writing assignment on the horizon as well as some intense reading I’ve got some hard work ahead!

Make memories…

With 2020 & 2021 being somewhat a waste of bloody time I feel like now more than ever is all about seizing the day and really grabbing every piece of happiness you possibly can.

I want to live my life and create the most beautiful memories with my loved ones. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Manifest…

This might sound a bit loopy but I experimented with manifesting back in the summer and can honestly say (in my own experience) that it genuinely works. I really want to try and implement that positive frame of mind into my daily life next year.

I truly believe that good things are coming my way and I am so ready for them!

What are your hopes and dreams for the future? Do you have any regrets you’d like to rectify?

MERRY CHRISTMAS! (BLOGMAS – DAY TWENTY-FIVE)

25th Dec 20218th Jun 2022 by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

Just a quick word from me today, I’m sure you’re all busy!

However you choose to celebrate or not celebrate the day I truly hope it’s a great one.

I know this time of year can be difficult for many. Losing loved ones, battling personal difficulties and just the general slog of working through our new normal has taken it’s toll but there is always something to be thankful for.

Merry Christmas!

Love always, Kelly x

INFLUENCER? I WISH! OR DO I? (BLOGMAS – DAY SIXTEEN)

16th Dec 20218th Jun 2022 by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

Hi guys! I thought today would be a good time to address a couple of misconceptions within the beauty community. I mean, obviously I can’t speak for everyone, so these views and experiences are entirely my own.

I’m a mum of three, but not a ‘Mummy Blogger’. I’m not a domestic goddess who bakes and dresses my kids in designer gear. I love cosmetics and beauty in general, but I haven’t mastered a cut crease or wings sharp enough to slit the throats of my enemies. I like fashion but my god can you imagine me trying to strike a pose next to a tree and not looking like an utter knob? Those are just a few of the areas that I fail miserably in but I’m sure there are plenty more.

The image you present online can be so misleading.

I’m lucky really, in comparison to some of my fellow content creators I have never received very many hate comment (if you ignore the fact half of Facebook seems to be convinced that I wear a wig) and most of the people I have met and befriended since starting my Instagram page have been amazing and incredibly supportive. The comments I receive are very sweet and one of the most common questions I get asked are ‘Where do you find the time to glam up as well as juggle everything else?’ and honestly? I don’t. I spend an awful lot of time in my pyjamas or a sweatshirt and leggings.

I suffer with anxiety, so I don’t often leave the house ‘just because’. I usually have a specific reason. I don’t live the glamorous lifestyle of established influencers, attending events and having the ability to purchase the latest products. Most of my time is spent looking after my family or trying to find something to binge watch.

I’m sorry I know this is starting to sound really depressing and it’s not meant to. If anything, I honestly imagined this post would be more humorous.

Anyway, long story short I just don’t really know what I am or who I want to be or even who I’m supposed to be to make these little online ventures a success?

If you have an opinion on this matter, I would genuinely love to hear it. I think it’s good to always try and see things from a different perspective and I’m usually missing something so your views can only help me in the long run!

TTYL guys.

Love Kelly.

CONFESSIONS OF AN ACCIDENTAL STAY AT HOME MUM (BLOGMAS – DAY EIGHT)

8th Dec 20218th Jun 2022 by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

This was never the plan and although I know I have a lot to be thankful for I can’t pretend that my soul doesn’t ache for parts of my former life.

When I was 17 and in hindsight barely out of childhood myself I gave birth to my eldest son. He was and will remain always the light of my life. I missed out on a lot of my teenage and young adult years and with that the freedom and opportunity to go out there and make mistakes. As a mother that wasn’t part of my destiny. I studied for a career I never actually wanted as a means to make something of myself and build a life for my child. Over the years I either worked or studied. As a habitual over thinker I’m better off busy.

By the time I fell pregnant with my youngest son I was finally in a job that I loved. A place that I thrived in and felt that I belonged. I was to happily take my maternity leave and focus on my family whilst living with the comfort I’d have my little piece of normality to go back to at the end of it. But that’s not what happened and three years later I’m still at home.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful, part of me actually feels sick writing this because I know I’m going to be judged. I don’t hate my life. I adore my family. My children are the best thing to have ever happened to me and my partner is beyond supportive, loving and caring in every way possible. I’m fortunate to have these incredible people in my life. To have a home, bills that are always paid and food on the table. I can’t help but silently mourn though, because in the process of building this life I have lost myself and I miss her.

She was fun, I was fun! I was confident and funny. I’m not those things anymore. I’m a shell of who I used to be and I don’t know how to break free of these chains that I have wrapped myself in. The prospect of going back to work now absolutely terrifies me. To have to start from scratch when I feel so unqualified to do anything more strenuous than the school run.

Putting together a CV with such a big gap is daunting. I’m scared to put myself out there because the rejection isn’t something I feel I can mentally handle right now. I wish I could turn back the clock and ask the old me for advice. She’d know what to do. She always did.

Whilst I know I’ll fight my way out of this funk it’s clear to see that it’s going to be a challenge. I know I’m not alone and there will be many more women in my position. I wish I could tell them all that it’ll be ok, you’re still amazing and worthy of the life you used to have, but how can I when I can’t even convince myself?

My god, if being a mother has taught me anything it’s that I am stronger than I think.

Maybe I just need to fake it till I make it, we all have to start somewhere right?

Tag: Motherhood