Category: Lifestyle

CONFESSIONS OF AN ACCIDENTAL STAY AT HOME MUM (BLOGMAS – DAY EIGHT)

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

This was never the plan and although I know I have a lot to be thankful for I can’t pretend that my soul doesn’t ache for parts of my former life.

When I was 17 and in hindsight barely out of childhood myself I gave birth to my eldest son. He was and will remain always the light of my life. I missed out on a lot of my teenage and young adult years and with that the freedom and opportunity to go out there and make mistakes. As a mother that wasn’t part of my destiny. I studied for a career I never actually wanted as a means to make something of myself and build a life for my child. Over the years I either worked or studied. As a habitual over thinker I’m better off busy.

By the time I fell pregnant with my youngest son I was finally in a job that I loved. A place that I thrived in and felt that I belonged. I was to happily take my maternity leave and focus on my family whilst living with the comfort I’d have my little piece of normality to go back to at the end of it. But that’s not what happened and three years later I’m still at home.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful, part of me actually feels sick writing this because I know I’m going to be judged. I don’t hate my life. I adore my family. My children are the best thing to have ever happened to me and my partner is beyond supportive, loving and caring in every way possible. I’m fortunate to have these incredible people in my life. To have a home, bills that are always paid and food on the table. I can’t help but silently mourn though, because in the process of building this life I have lost myself and I miss her.

She was fun, I was fun! I was confident and funny. I’m not those things anymore. I’m a shell of who I used to be and I don’t know how to break free of these chains that I have wrapped myself in. The prospect of going back to work now absolutely terrifies me. To have to start from scratch when I feel so unqualified to do anything more strenuous than the school run.

Putting together a CV with such a big gap is daunting. I’m scared to put myself out there because the rejection isn’t something I feel I can mentally handle right now. I wish I could turn back the clock and ask the old me for advice. She’d know what to do. She always did.

Whilst I know I’ll fight my way out of this funk it’s clear to see that it’s going to be a challenge. I know I’m not alone and there will be many more women in my position. I wish I could tell them all that it’ll be ok, you’re still amazing and worthy of the life you used to have, but how can I when I can’t even convince myself?

My god, if being a mother has taught me anything it’s that I am stronger than I think.

Maybe I just need to fake it till I make it, we all have to start somewhere right?

MARK’S TOMATO, CHILLI AND ROASTED RED PEPPER SOUP (BLOGMAS – DAY FIVE)

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

Is anyone else bloody freezing right now? Those pesky (but very cosy!) colder months always seem like the perfect time to share one of my favourite recipes with you all and you’re in for a treat!

Hands up, this recipe actually belongs to my fiancé. However, I actually do a good 90% of the cooking in our house and have perfected this myself so I feel entitled to share! With these quantities you should have about 2600ml of soup at the end. Roughly enough for approximately 8 portions at 140 calories each. You will need…

  • 6 red peppers
  • 1200g (3 tins) of plum tomatoes
  • 3 red chillis
  • 4 cloves of garlic
  • 3 medium onions
  • 900ml of vegetable stock (2 cubes mixed with 900ml of water)
  • 4 tbsp of tomato purée
  • 4 sticks of celery
  • Olive oil
  • 1 tbsp of chilli flakes
  • 1 tbsp of chilli powder
  • 25g of butter
  • Cream and basil (to garnish)

Chop the peppers, garlic, onions and chilli peppers then throw them into a roasting tin along with the plum tomatoes and olive oil in the oven for half an hour on a medium heat (gas mark 6).

Melt the butter in a pan and sauté the celery. Create the vegetable stock and add the puree, chilli flakes and powder then mix with the butter and celery.

Sometimes I like to add my favourite hot sauce here as well but that is all down to individual tastes.

Remove the roasting tin from the oven and add the contents to the pan. Blend to desired consistency.

Add cream and basil and a side of your favourite bread! Pretty simple right?

I would love to know if you guys decide to give it a go so make sure you take pics and tag me on social media!

KELLY’S CHRISTMASSY ACTIVITIES YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR LITTLE ONES (BLOGMAS – DAY THREE)

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

Christmas is right around the corner and with that comes the school holidays that are to me, equal parts amazing and terrifying.

Entertaining three boys is a full time job in itself so I’m always on the hunt for activities we can do together.

Here are some simple and relatively cheap or free favourites of mine that will still work with little to no money.

Movie Night

Snuggling up with a blanket, some snacks and a bit of holiday season nostalgia is pretty much the pinnacle of Christmas isn’t it?

My personal favourite film to watch with the boys is The Grinch. It’s sweet with lots of heart but also absolutely bloody hilarious (and any woman who can say that the iconic scene where the grinch is trying to pick an outfit for the Whobilation isn’t them is lying).

Festive Baking

Decorating pre made ginger bread men counts doesn’t it? I mean, if you’re the next GBBO contestant then by all means do your thing but I can just about bake a decent banana bread (thank you lockdown!) so I like to keep things simple.

It can get messy but the kids love it and that’s all that matters, right? One of my favourite childhood memories is my mum letting me lick the spoon after making rice crispy cakes (obviously she was just as good at baking as I am).

Christmas Crafts

Ok, so I’m not the most artistic person in the world but I like to think I make up for it with enthusiasm!

Whether you’re making cards, decorating baubles or going all out creating a unique Christmas Day centrepiece you honestly can’t go wrong with crafts.

If all else fails a colouring book will entertain.

Local Lights Trail

One of our favourites things to do at this time of year is to go out and explore our town and look at the gorgeously decorated houses.

We are very lucky to live by the sea and all of the boats in the harbour are also often full of Christmas cheer and covered in fairy lights.

It creates such a lovely atmosphere and really makes us all feel that little bit more ‘Christmassy’ especially with a hot chocolate in hand!

Games Night

Monopoly anyone? Love them or hate them would it really be Christmas without a board game or 10?

My in-laws are pros at picking the most hilarious family activities. Some of our current favourites are Telestrations, Rapidough and Game For Fame (which can be ridiculously embarrassing but it wouldn’t be Christmas if you aren’t made to feel like a bit of a tit).

If anyone threatens to throw a strop you can bribe them with a cunningly hidden tin of celebrations. Everyone’s a winner!

I hope these ideas have been helpful and you manage to have a wonderful Christmas with your families. Don’t forget to pour yourself a large glass of something very alcoholic and celebrate the small things.

Merry Christmas everyone!

I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I’M FEELING 32…

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

And just like that, bam! I’m one year older and a whole lot wiser!

I feel like my life has changed so much since my 30th birthday. I guess from the outside things may seem much the same but as a person I have grown into someone I don’t even recognise sometimes.

After years of thinking I’d missed my chance I finally became a university student and am just hours away from submitting my first assignment (something I’m both thrilled and terrified about!).

I genuinely never imagined I’d get to this stage, with children to raise and bills to pay it all just seemed so out of reach but with the right people around me and a whole lot of determination I’m here and it honestly feels so good! I think I just wish more than anything that I’d had more faith in myself ten years ago but better late than never I suppose.

My children are thriving and my fiancé (who has just started a new job with no more evening or weekend shifts!) and I have finally set a wedding date. Roll on September 2022!

This year we have started to achieve a more healthy work/life balance and I’m so grateful for that. For the first time in a long time we have guaranteed Christmas plans and I’m actually giddy with excitement!

The hard times will always be hard and I’m not saying that my life is perfect but at times it feels pretty damn close and I feel so incredibly lucky.

Getting older will never be the answer to all of life’s problems, for me it was more realising that growing up didn’t mean that things were set in stone. My life could be what I make of it if I work hard enough.

BLOGTOBER X BLOGR CHALLENGE 2021 WEEK 3 – THE IMPORTANCE OF SOCIAL MEDIA IN BUSINESS (BLOGTOBER – DAY TWENTY-ONE)

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

Social media is absolutely vital for any business in this day and age.

There are currently nearly 45 million Facebook users in the UK whilst over 30 million people use Instagram. These two platforms are a hive of activity and potential custom and that’s without taking into consideration the 15 million people who spend hours a day on Twitter and the ever growing popularity of TikTok (which is without a doubt one of the biggest social media success stories to date and allows the most chance of going viral from a single piece of content).

Visual content is essential in the hospitality and travel industry.

“Our media consumption habits are changing, today it is more likely that your audience will seek out photos and videos on social media before making a booking, in fact the social media presence and visual identify of a brand is often one of the final decision makers for consumers when proceeding with a booking.”

Roxii Hoare-Smith, The Importance of Social Media for Hotels as featured on daviestanner.com

I have a fierce passion for social media and content creating. Having started a beauty blog and Instagram page as a hobby in 2019 I have since built relationships with brands I could only ever have dreamed of working with previously. Whilst I understand that some of this is down to being in the right place at the right time I truly believe that the hard work I have put in to building my profile and personalising my content has paid off.

I appreciate that working within the hospitality industry or showcasing the unique qualities of a business are very different to the type of content I usually create but I am confident that the skills are transferable to some degree and that’s why I decided to write this post.

It’s completely out of my comfort zone but somethings that can be essential to your growth.

Your business might be in its infancy but it’s never too early to build your brand. Social media can help increase awareness of the products you sell or services you offer and has become an integral part of a modern day marketing strategy.

It’s also a chance to show off the personality behind the screen which is a great way of building relationships with your customers which will undoubtedly lead to the kind of loyalty you’ll need to succeed.

Take a chance on different kinds of content. Reels are huge right now and there are always fun trends read and waiting to be jumped on and tweaked to fit your niche.

Maybe you have a blog feature on your website that is gathering some cobwebs? Get out there and write a post that’ll captivate your audience and show em what you’ve got. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be ‘you’.

Isn’t that what social media really excels at? Showing the world who you truly are and what makes you special? It’s exactly the same when it comes to businesses and brands. Make it work for you.

You’ve got this!

Feature photo credit – Shannen Lythgoe

BLOGTOBER X BLOGR CHALLENGE 2021 WEEK 1 – A LETTER TO 2022 ME (BLOGTOBER – DAY FOURTEEN)

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

Dear Kelly of 2022,

This year you have so many amazing things in store and I can’t wait to see how it all pans out. I hope you’re as excited as I am!

2020 – 2021 was a time of reflection for us both and at times I honestly didn’t know if that was a good thing but at this moment in time I’m truly sure it was.

By now you’ll be deep into your uni course (only over a decade late but the best things come to those who wait) and hopefully enjoying it more than you ever imagined.

In nine months you’ll be marrying the love of your life and spending the day celebrating with the people you treasure most in the world (which lets face it, after the last couple of years is needed more than ever!).

Maybe you’ll have shifted that lockdown weight (doubt it, you’re quite happy in yourself right now and I bloody love that!) and maybe you haven’t but knowing that you’re content and healthy is my happy place.

I hope you’re still writing consistently just for you and not because you feel you have to. It’s helped to ground you so much and helps with all kinds of aspects of your day to day life.

You started the year off so well, reading often and feeling so inspired by other peoples words and that slowly tailed off into a nothingness. I was you to promise that 2022 will be the year you read and read and read. It’s one of the biggest passions of your life. Always make time for it.

Overall I just hope that you continue to grow, to push yourself and work hard to ensure your dreams come true. However, don’t forget to love your life for what it is in the time. There are always moments to cherish no matter how dark the day may seem.

Love always,

Kelly of 2021

BLOGTOBER X BLOGR CHALLENGE 2021 WEEK 1 – KELLY’S ADVICE ON TACKLING ONLINE HATE (BLOGTOBER – DAY SEVEN)

by Dreadfully Kelly, posted in Lifestyle

Hello my lovelies!

I’ve never tackled a blog post like this before so please bear with me, it may all come tumbling out and make absolutely no sense!

I’ll admit I’ve been very lucky and up until last week had never experienced any kind of online hate or trolling.

I remained blissfully ignorant as to how much your confidence can be obliterated in no time at all with a handful of comments from strangers.

Having recently put together a piece of content I was incredibly proud of (and something the brand themselves had been very complimentary of, enough so that they asked to feature it in an ad campaign) I was horrified to learn that my appearance was the subject of many negative discussions.

When I first came across the comments my initial reaction was one of confusion.

I don’t know these people. What have I done to deserve such an attack?

It’s hard to comprehend the mentality of trolls when you would never dream of being so hurtful to anyone. I cried and I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that. Putting your heart and soul into something only for others to try and tear you down is sickening.

So what have I learned and how can help someone else who may be experiencing the same thing for the first time?

The answer is, I’m not completely sure to be honest. Personally in the days following my own experience I managed to find humour in the comments. At the sheer silliness of the things people were saying and the fact that their opinions didn’t matter in the grand scheme of my life.

I refuse to let anyone take away something I have the righty to be so proud of. I will never again let another person make me feel small or insignificant.

My biggest piece of advice though is to never isolate yourself if you’re feeling attacked because it will allow those comments to burrow and fester. To implant themselves into your subconscious. Speak to your friends. Speak to your family. Let them pick you up, support you and comfort you. Listen to their kind words and believe them but above all believe in yourself.

You’re amazing. Don’t let anyone, let alone an insecure stranger make you believe differently.